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Post by spiv/chav on Jul 15, 2007 19:44:43 GMT
;D
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Post by nerys on Jul 18, 2007 9:04:31 GMT
Driving Joke #4 - Wrong Way!...
... As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!" ;D
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Post by nerys on Jul 18, 2007 13:44:35 GMT
An Irish girl on Vacation in Spain headed for the hotel roof for some sun.
On her first day up there she wore a bathing suit, but since there was no one around that day, she removed it in order to acquire an all-over tan.
She was lying on her stomach when she heard someone running up the stairs.
She quickly pulled a towel over herself and was confronted by the hotel assistant manager. "Excuse me," he said. "The hotel doesn’t mind you sunning yourself on the roof, but we would appreciate it if you wore a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What's the problem?" she asked. "No one can see me up here."
"That's not quite true," he replied. "You're lying on the dining room skylight." ;D
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Post by nerys on Jul 24, 2007 17:21:41 GMT
The funeral parlor called the 85 year old widow to tell her that her 90 year old husband had died with such a massive erection that he could not close the lid of the coffin. He had never seen such seen such a big pecker.
Well she said "Cut it off as close to his body as you can then put it up his ass". The next day the whole family arrived at the funeral home to pay their respects and the widow knelt down near her departed husband and noticed there was a tear coming down his cheek. She leaned over and whispered in his ear "I told you it hurt you old (Wash my mouth out with soap twice)!"
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Nikki
New Member
Posts: 26
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Post by Nikki on Jul 24, 2007 17:43:31 GMT
lmao Nerys thats class! ;D  |
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Post by nerys on Jul 26, 2007 8:09:44 GMT
Dead Goldfish
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your (Wash my mouth out with soap again) cat."
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Post by bcbitch on Jul 28, 2007 8:33:39 GMT
:olmao top joke
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Post by nerys on Jul 28, 2007 10:52:40 GMT
Better than old days
A couple married forty years, were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the welsh countryside, they passed a farm with a tall hedge running along the road.
The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here forty years ago."
The man stopped the car. His wife backed against the hedge and they made love like never before.
Later back in the car, the man says, "Darling, you sure never moved like that forty years ago - or any time since that I can remember!"
The woman says, "Forty years ago that hedge never had an electrified sheep wirer in it !"
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Post by nerys on Jul 28, 2007 11:22:07 GMT
A salesman rang the doorbell and little Johnny answered. The salesman asked if his father was at home.
Johnny said, "Yes."
The salesman said, "Well, can I see him please?"
Johnny snickered and said, "No, he is in the shower."
Then the salesman asked if his mother was at home.
Johnny said, "Yes."
The salesman said, "Well can I see her?"
Johnny snickered again and said, "No, she's in the shower too."
The salesman then asked, "Do you think they will be out soon?"
Johnny laughed this time and said "No."
The salesman asked, "Why?"
"Well", Johnny said, "when my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him some Super Glue."
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Post by nerys on Jul 28, 2007 11:27:02 GMT
Bedroom football
A guy comes home from the bar one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart.
His wife wakes up and asks, "What in the world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown, I am winning 7 nothing."
She thinks to herself "I'm gonna fix him." Then she lets one loose.
He yells at her, "What was that?"
She replies "Touchdown, tie score."
Now he thinks, "I'm gonna fix her." He's lying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he shits the bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replied, "Half time, switch sides." ;D ;D ;D
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Post by 6lolabunny9 on Jul 28, 2007 11:59:03 GMT
love it that is class hun
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Post by bcbitch on Jul 28, 2007 12:44:10 GMT
do u lot spend all day lookin em up ??
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Post by nerys on Jul 29, 2007 10:25:45 GMT
no!!!!
wey're just good at tellin jokes lol
u put a joke on and make us laugh ;D ;D ;D
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Post by bcbitch on Jul 29, 2007 16:45:34 GMT
i usually am the joke  |
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Post by nerys on Jul 29, 2007 17:03:46 GMT
no yr cute |
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