An American holidaymaker was driving through a village near Llanidloes. Suddenly he saw a chicken with three legs! He stopped the car but when he got near the chicken, it ran away like the wind. Then the American saw a local farmer and asked him,
“Have you seen a three-legged chicken running down the road?”
“Possibly,” said the farmer “I have been breeding three-legged chickens for years to sell to families of three people who all like a chicken leg on Sunday.”
The Welsh farmer's wife gave him a plate of grass for his dinner. "What the hell is this?" he screamed. "Well," replied his wife, "If it's good enough for your girlfriend, then it's good enough for you!"
A man and his wife were driving through Wales on their holidays when they suddenly saw a sign that said "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch". The husband attempts to say it, but his wife starts laughing and soon this turns into a argument, so much so that they decide to pull into the nearest motorway restaurant. Finishing their meal, the wife can't help but question the waitress. "Excuse me miss," asked the wife, "but can you settle an argument between my husband and me? Can you pronounce the name of where we are, but very slowly please." The cashier looks at the woman funny and says, "Sure, you are in Liiiiittttttllllleeeee Chhhhhheeeeefffff!"
Two Welshmen were rounding up their sheep when one of the ewes suddenly ran into a fence and got it's head stuck. The two men ran over to the fence and one of them said to the other, "Hey, boyo, this is too good an opportunity to pass up!" The man unzipped his trousers, yanked out his thingy and fucked the ewe for ten minutes until he finally came inside it. After he finished he looked at his friend and said, "That was bloody marvellous, mate. D'you fancy a go then?" "Bloody right I do!" replied the other man, as he unzipped his trousers and stuck his head through the fence.
One day a travelling salesman was driving around rural Wales and decided to stay the night in a farmhouse. After enjoying a fine meal with the farmer, the salesman turned to him and said, "What is it like for hiring a companion for the evening?" "Well," replied the farmer, "I'm afraid there are not many women around these parts. But there's always Arthur........." "Oh?" said the salesman, intrigued, "How much does he charge then?" "It will cost you £100." replied the farmer. The salesman thought for a minute then said, "That's a bit expensive!" "Well," said the farmer, "the local magistrate takes out £40 because he doesn't approve of those kind of things." "Oh," answered the man, "so that's £40 for the magistrate and £60 for Arthur." The farmer shook his head, "No, the local constable also takes £40 because he doesn't approve of those kind of things!" "Jesus," replied the salesman, "So the magistrate gets £40, the cop gets £40 that only leaves £20 for Arthur! Thats no way to make a living!" The farmer shook his head again and said, "No - We pay Gareth and Dai £10 each to hold Arthur down, because he doesn't approve of that sort of thing either!"
One day a man walked into a pub in Wales and ordered a pint of beer. All the other men in the bar looked at him and the barman asked, "You're not from around here, are you sir?" "No," replied the man, "I am from London." "So, boyo," said the barman, "What do you do for a living then?" "I'm a taxidermist." replied the man. "A taxidermist?" asked the barman, "What's one of them then?" "Well," replied the man, "I mount animals." The barman then turned to all the other welshmen in the bar and said, "It's ok lad's, he's one of us!"
A couple of newly weds were honeymooning in a welsh farmhouse and, on the first morning the old farmers wife brought up breakfast on a tray for them and left outside the door. But it went uneaten. She did the same on the second morning and the third
She became a bit worried and knocked on the door and called "Are you all right in there? Aren't you not a bit hungry then?"
The chap called back obviously a bit busy and said "We're fine thank you. We are living on the fruits of love"
The old farmer called up the stairs
"Well in that case Boyo. Would you mind not throwing the skins out of the window then"