A chap goes into the Job Centre in Newcastle and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the bloke behind the desk.
The Job Centre guy sifts through his files and replies "Uh - yes here it is... OK, the job entails you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash their nether regions. Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their pubic hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynaecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of £45,000 but I'm afraid you'll have to go to Oxford ."
;D Can't see anything wrong with this myself, good advice
Why men don't write advice columns Dear Ian : I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help? Sincerely, Mrs.. Sheila Usk
Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps. Best regards Ian